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Sex talk: Even the prettiest car can have a bad engine

There are more muscles than you see. Work them too. In fact, because the vagina is a muscular canal despite its obvious elasticity, like any other muscles in your body those too can become quite useless if you don’t exercise them.

Exercising has little to do with becoming more portable and a lot to do with having a healthy muscle network – be it for your heart, your belly or vagina. At some point in life, ladies, you will realise that a firm grip on your husband during lovemaking is the difference between a happy marriage and a miserable one.

Yet, seeing as the same canal is used to pop babies and in many cases is not pampered back into shape by way of exercise, many good-looking women walk the city streets with onlookers having no idea what a miserable life they lead between the sheets.

For some, all action ended altogether a long time ago, which can be the beginning of a vicious cycle of loneliness, bitterness, anger and resentment that leak into other parts of a marriage and career. So, the deal is that you work out more. By walking, swimming, going to a gym or dance class or yoga; but do something.

As your general muscle formula picks strength, Kegel exercises too will become easier to do, which are phenomenal for both men and women’s sex lives. While Kegels will help your husband with his infuriating premature ejaculation, the same exercises will help tone your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle and by extension, give your vagina walls better grip during sex, not to mention fixing any bladder issues or minor incontinence that could have come with childbirth.

Yet many women, seeing how easily they snap back into shape after childbirth, ignore the fact that a weak PC muscle or a too-relaxed vagina wall can leave your husband feeling like he is leisurely strolling through an abandoned cave, when he makes love to you.

Don’t ask: “But what happened to our sexual magic, boo?”

Just go start working out the vital muscles; you will see. The fact is that there could be dysfunctions in other parts of the home, but when a couple has a magical connection sexually, they will always manage to work their way back to each other’s arms and fix what is wrong elsewhere.

But I have also noticed from correspondences that when the sex life fails, it only compounds and magnifies any other problems or squabbles the couple may have in the marriage.

So, don’t gloss over the fact that your ‘biological machine’ is being subjected to a natural wear and tear; remember there are ‘machines’ out there operating optimally and are well cared-for and greased daily, and their owners are marketing them aggressively!

It will take just one test-drive…

True, your body also once worked like a new car engine, purring when necessary and revving with turbo thrusts when needed. But even the best engines become useless if they are simply pushed to their limits but never serviced; your neglected vagina can become quite the nuisance too.

A Mercedes Benz can look amazing with its metallic shine, but only its driver will know what a wreck the engine is. So, while I beseech the gentlemen too to use Kegel exercises to exercise more control over longevity during lovemaking, the same exercise can be life-changing for the wives.

Just contract those muscles that stretch from your pubic bone to the base of your spine, by contracting them and releasing them periodically. Do this several times a day, even as you work out your abs, pecs and whatever else you are trying to tone in the gym.

In fact, a good way to ensure the PC muscle does not miss out on a single day’s workout is by contracting them simultaneously as you do your leg presses, squats or jog up Summit View.

When you next visit the bathroom, try to stop the flow of your urine midway the task; the muscle that stops the urine is the PC muscle. The kind of contracting needed to stop that flow is the exercise your PC muscle needs.

And, by the way, if you try to stop the urine flow and miserably fail, then that is the first indicator that your PC muscle is very weak. Don’t give up; contract and release, every chance you get, then check for progress using the ‘urine test’.

You can even do the Kegel exercises during lovemaking itself, and if your husband has not been doing his own Kegel exercises heeeee, he will not know what hit him. Shauri yake…!

carol@observer.ug

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